{vaccinations}

In February of 2008, I took Ava for her 2 month wellness visit. I didn't know what to expect. I knew that she would be getting a shot, but that was about it. As soon as the nurse came in with 4 shots and an oral applicator, I immediately felt all color drain from my skin. I was sick to see that she would be stuck so many times with vaccinations that I hadn't even heard of before. The sound of her cries sent the sharpest pain through my heart and all I could do was cry along with her until the nurse had finished. I immediately picked her up and nursed her back to calmness. The whole feeding, all I could think about was what kind of mother I was letting my daughter go through all of that and not even knowing what she was receiving and why. Needless to say, I started my research. I did hours and hours of research and read books on vaccinations until I figured out a little about them. It was then that I found out of the suspected link between vaccinations and autism. I also learned of the ingradients in the vaccinations and the insane number given now compared to when I was a baby. I was horrified to learn of the traces of mercury that are still present in these vaccinations while most doctors swear it's all been taken out. Not only that, but that the dosage they administer is the same for a child as it is for an adult. WHAT?! Ingredients such as animal blood and formaldehyde making up the vaccinations that I just ignorantly let my child be injected with made me sick. I'm fully aware of the importance of vaccinations and am not at all against them. I am, however, against the ingredients and number of vaccinations administered at one time. As a result, I have chosen to use an alternate schedule with my children. One in which they receive the vaccinations they need but not all at once. The vaccines are also paired in a certain way such that the child doesn't receive high levels of a certain ingredient in one visit.

Bella's 2 month wellness visit was on Friday. I was fully prepared with the shots I would allow her to take. The morning started off rocky as Ava woke up screaming at 4:30 AM and wouldn't go back to sleep. Then, things went downhill from there. The nurse came in the room to take the vitals, etc. She's not very friendly and I do not like when she's our nurse. She went to take Bella's temperature (in her ear) and pulls her ear so hard Bella screams like I've never heard before. I looked at the nurse like "what are you doing?!" Bella has had her temperature taken by ear before and has NEVER screamed like that. It took everything in me not to grab her hand and remove it from my poor child's ear! I let that roll off my shoulder. Then she gives me the papers to initial the vaccines she would receive today. I let her know I was only getting 2 and not the 5. She said "what? why?!" I let her know that I'm doing an alternate schedule with her like I do with Ava. She said "I don't know what that is! What schedule?" Was she serious?! She had the worst attitude towards me and was being so rude! Keeping as composed as possible I informed her that there was a copy of the schedule in Ava's file and that if she would like to see it she can pull the file and look. I told her once more the two shots she would be getting and that was it. She stormed out of the room. Dr. Garrett came in to conduct the check up and then talked to me about the vaccinations. There were a total of 5 that she was to receive. I told her I was only doing two and she said that was fine but that by the next appointment she would still have one more that she needed. She told me there was one shot that she was to receive today (Pentacel) which combined 3 of the 4 shots she was supposed to have and then she would just have one more shot and the oral vaccine. After being up since 4 and just ready to leave, I settled for the combo shot (which I am VERY MUCH AGAINST by the way) and the oral. After she got the shot I had a sick feeling like I had when Ava had hers. I couldn't wait to get home to look up this shot. This is what I found. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. Against my better judgement, I was sucked into making a decision that I wouldn't have normally done. I was so upset with myself. All I could do was pray for God's hedge of protection around my sweet daughter that she would have no adverse effects as a result of this vaccination. God is good and thus far, Bella has had no severe reactions. Saturday, Bella did have a temperature of 101.8. I was really worried, but I think she was just too warm from clothing more than from the vaccinations. She's been smiling and cooing normally, thank God.

The one thing I always tell new moms is that you do NOT have to do ANYTHING you don't want to do when it comes to your child. You are in control NOT the doctor/nurse. If you are uncomfortable for whatever reason or have a bad feeling, I always say not to go through with whatever it is that is causing it. Tell your doctor/nurse you need to think about it and come back. It's an extra doctor's visit and more money, I understand, but I strongly believe that it's worth the money to make sure you're doing the right thing.

Otherwise, Bella had a good visit. She is 10 lbs 12.8 oz. & 22 1/2 inches long! I bought Alimentum which the doctor told me was the only kind of formula I was to use because it was hypoallergenic. She doesn't want me using milk/soy based formula since she suspects a protein allergy. I gave Bella 2 bottles of formula yesterday and 1 today. She drank them no problem, but I'm struggling with the whole idea of formula feeding. I want to nurse for at least 6 months, but if Bella is more comfortable with formula and she feels better as a result, then I don't want to be selfish. I'm nervous about my milk drying up from not feeding her as much. I am going to try to pump what I don't feed her to hopefully keep my milk in enough to feed her still. I'm planning on nursing her at night and in the morning and formula feeding in mid afternoon/early evening. I'll let you guys know how it goes.